In Search of Lost Time: Cake is better than sex

Columns February 8, 2012

Sexual feelings and behaviour in Canadian society are incredibly diverse. Many sexual identities, however, are invisible in our society due to supposed rarity, misunderstanding, and the hegemony of heterosexuality overshadowing minority dispositions.

Our multidimensional sexual character is determined through introspection and experimentation following our inborn sense of self as we develop. We then ascribe socially constructed sexual identities to our sexual character, such as asexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality, and pansexuality, in efforts to create stable social platforms. It’s clearly of great importance that these identities be readily available and understood to ameliorate social interactions and anxieties of those with minority sexual identity.

In a social economy that is hyper-sexualized, it’s difficult for most to conceptualize people who don’t experience sexual attraction, or the need for attractions to culminate in coitus. An asexual is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction. Asexuality is a distinct self-identity that should not be allegorized to ephemeral life choices such as celibacy or abstinence.

Asexuality should also not be dismissed as being a relic of abuse.

The absence of sexual attraction doesn’t frustrate the proclivity for stable emotional relationships that contain all the same elements of other sexualized affiliations. This is not necessarily the narrative of all asexuals, as some may not require intimate relationships or romantic partners.

The freedom from sexual expectations can lead to much deeper emotional ties between people. Many asexuals consider their relationships to be outside the experience of our culture.