In Search of Lost Time: Hugs for everyone

Columns March 7, 2012

It’s a necessity of the human condition to seek physical bonds with others.

It can be hard to find and satisfy these needs, especially in a society that promotes hypersexual ideals with the ultimate reward being penetrative intercourse or orgasm, where encounters that lead to less than the hegemonic conclusion to a rendezvous are seen as a failure in a relationship.

Alternatively, the same society promotes monogamy and isolated relationships between individuals; those that seek, participate, and receive non-sexualized or sexualized bonds outside of paired couplings are often chastised by the socially constructed ideals of jealousy and shame.

Healthier relationships should give allowances for people to express friendship or deep emotional feelings in unrestricted ways that allow the love energy in our hearts to be revitalized and maintained, rather than subscribe to social mores that suffocate us and often drive us into isolation, which ultimately leads to dissatisfaction and resentment.

Sharing our hearts and sharing physical bonds with others creates deep relationships and serves to invigorate our own feelings of self-worth and confidence.

Acts such as hugging, touching, and holding hands with our close friends can bond us together in ways that our culture fails to express, and certainly fails to promote.

Touching and being touched connects us, bonds us, and creates a dialogue between our hearts that is stronger than we can imagine.