A meditation teacher of mine has said on numerous occasions that it’s more important to be kind than to be right. Certainly there are situations where it’s critical to communicate the right message to the right person and make sure they understand it; it may be the kind thing to do. It’s those situations in which we press our point through another’s resistance where conflict arises.
Zen meditation involves a regular practice wherein we arrange our bodies in an intentional way (there are a number of postures for different bodies and abilities) and give ourselves to this posture for 20 minutes or so, just sitting and breathing.
It may be a stretch to understand what this practice has to do with being kind, but once we have experienced the torrent of thoughts and emotions which floods our minds when we sit like this, and the initial frustration of this busy mind, we may see the importance of being kind.
As I mentioned in last issue’s column, receptivity is what characterizes the Zen style of meditation. When we insist upon our position as correct, using affirmative language to drive it home, we are not practicing receptivity. Often what’s most kind is just to listen, especially in a culture where individuality and personal achievement are paramount values.
So, when we sit for 20 minutes in the morning or at night, we might consider our meditation a way of training our minds to be kind to ourselves and others.