Don’t call me a cougar. We don’t need another word to shame women.
According to sex columnist Valerie Gibson, the term “cougar” originated in Vancouver, BC to describe older woman who go to bars looking for younger men.
I’m a woman in my thirties, and I’m frequently mistaken for being younger; young people often approach me because I look the same age as them.
The fact is I have dated younger people and I have been called a “cougar.” I’m not a cougar; I’m a woman. I don’t date younger people because it’s my thing; it’s because I’m attracted to the person, and the age difference is just a coincidence.
Being called a cougar is offensive, ageist, and sexist. Using the term “cougar” to describe women who date someone younger also suggests that this act warrants a label.
It’s an old argument, but still valid; a woman is shamed if she’s in a relationship with someone younger, but if a man does this it’s impressive. It’s a sexist double standard, since there’s not a similar word to describe a man who dates younger people.
The label is also obnoxious because it portrays an animalistic image of an older woman who preys on a younger person for sex or a relationship. Being attracted to a person is not about age; age is literally a number.
Of course, with age we gain experiences, maturity, and sense of self. However, we don’t choose whom we fall in love with, or whom we develop an attraction for; real love is about a connection or chemistry.
Falling in love is an extraordinary human experience, and women should not be embarrassed if they fall in love with someone who’s younger; the love should be celebrated.
I understand your arguments.
But :
– The cougar term does not only have negative connotations, but also positive ones.
– What alternativ term would you use instead ?
Regards.