Open Space: Stop being so sensitive about ghosting

Views November 21, 2018

People take offense too easily, especially over texts. The one thing people really seem to take offense to is when their texts go unanswered or ignored, or when they get ghosted. You’ve been ghosted when you’ve been communicating with another person over text, email, or social media and they don’t respond to one of your messages for a long period of time, sometimes not getting back to you at all.

I’ve noticed from being ignored and from ignoring others over text that there’s usually a reason for the ghosting. People who overreact over ghosting only make the situation worse. Overreacting can cause the person who has been overthinking it stress and anxiety, not to mention they could find themselves sending messages to the person not responding and harm the relationship in the process. 

This story originally appeared in our November 21, 2018 issue.

I’m the type of person who usually answers people right away; the only times that I don’t respond to someone promptly are when I’m busy or when I need time to consider what to say. The only times I’ve completely ignored someone’s messages were when I felt overwhelmed by them or that they hadn’t respected my personal space. 

Has anyone ever wondered why a certain someone that they liked stopped responding to them? Mostly, people want to know why someone took so long to respond; if people were more patient, they would see that the other person was probably just busy. 

I’ve heard from a friend that she hates the whole game of, ‘Oh, they took an hour to answer me, I’m going to wait three hours to respond in return!’ I too think that’s rather immature. Maybe they were at work or somewhere else where it’s considered rude to be on their phone. The person being immature is now just torturing themselves unnecessarily.

I don’t think the person doing the ghosting should always be blamed. If the person did completely cut ties with someone else, maybe that someone should assess their own actions and resolve any issues in their relationship.

If someone does ghost you for some unknown reason and never responds back, it doesn’t mean that nobody else is going to like you; we weren’t made for every person out there to like us. It’s better to be who we are and have the people who truly want to be around us in our lives, rather than having a bunch of people there who aren’t there for your best interest.

People’s biggest question about ghosting is, “Why didn’t they just tell me nicely that they didn’t want to talk or hang out any more?” I think that they don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings or, rather, they don’t want to see someone hurt because of them. Maybe it just makes it easier for them to leave. Nobody likes to be the bad guy, and this gives them an easy escape from feeling like they are in a negative situation.

Although, if someone is a jerk, I wouldn’t want them in my life, and they definitely would have done me a favour by ghosting me.