This story originally appeared in our November 29, 2017 issue.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nFleet made her third-year team leader aware of the situation and requested a specific class schedule; she says all her instructors have been very supportive. Her pregnancy through last year was tough, as she says second-year Nursing is more physically demanding than first year. That being said, she stays positive and keeps considering herself lucky.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had a healthy pregnancy, I just stayed focused, I had a really good support system at home, and I had him on July 8, so I had two months to heal before I went back to school,\u201d she says. \u201cEverything just really fell into place for me, but a huge part of it is how supportive Camosun is. I thought I was going to be nervous and it would be outlandish and inappropriate to bring my son to school but everyone\u2019s like, \u2018Okay, so when are you bringing him back? Bring him back now.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Self-care, however, is something that Fleet finds herself struggling with. She says it can be so easy to push herself too hard while looking after her child; she\u2019s working on homework once he falls asleep, and she\u2019s noticed that she\u2019s been neglecting her partner over the past few months.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s so willing, and so helpful,\u201d she says of her partner. \u201cWe don\u2019t really have time for us anymore; it happened so fast. These four months have just flown by, so we\u2019ve sat down and had some really purposeful, meaningful conversations. Try to keep some element of being spontaneous in your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fleet says that when there\u2019s only one time to do homework, you do it regardless of how tired you are, but she adds that should things go astray, she knows that her student colleagues are there for her. People can be under the impression that having both a career and a baby is impossible, she says, but it is indeed possible.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs soon as I got pregnant, a lot of my friends, and even some of my family, said, \u2018Well, there goes your nursing career.\u2019 I\u2019m just like, \u2018Why?\u2019 Having a baby is supposed to be one of the most monumental moments of your life; why is it seen as the end in people\u2019s eyes?\u201d she says. \u201cThat\u2019s something that\u2019s kind of misconstrued in our modern-day society. It\u2019s the best thing that\u2019s ever happened to me; I can\u2019t remember my life before him now.\u201d<\/p>\n
SPLIT INTO THREE<\/strong><\/p>\nBecause she works full time and is in school part time, getting a hold of first-year General Arts student Nicole Crevatin is a daunting task. But she has to work hard: after she had her two-year-old daughter, she knew her minimum-wage pay would only be able to cover her child\u2019s daycare. From there, the 23-year-old took Camosun\u2019s Office Administration program, eventually finding a job with the charity Construction Foundation of British Columbia.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m very happy that the work I\u2019ve been able to do is something that\u2019s going to help people, because it was a bit of an internal struggle deciding to pursue school and pursue a job now or be a stay-at-home mom and wait until my daughter went to kindergarten to pursue the career and workforce again,\u201d she says. \u201cSo it\u2019s a joy for me to know that it\u2019s worth it. And I may be in debt, and I may not get to spend every hour with my daughter, but knowing that I\u2019m putting food on the table, and I\u2019m paying off the loans that I had, and the work that I\u2019m doing is benefiting thousands of people across the province, it definitely is worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n
After Crevatin took part in filming and producing a video for someone in the construction trade, her employers offered to pay for her schooling if she wanted to pursue skills like video production, leading her to take a course on digital technology. She is also taking a course in psychology; she originally wanted to get a psychology degree but had second thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cI realized it was going to take at least seven years of schooling to get my master\u2019s and do a whole lot with my degree,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019ve always been interested in counselling or going into teaching and doing school counselling or something like that, but, after having my daughter, I just decided for something quick to get my foot in the door, somewhere where I wouldn\u2019t be making minimum wage; that\u2019s where I went into office administration.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s no surprise that Crevatin\u2019s duties as a mother, as an employee, and as a student leave a few household chores to pile up; the biggest issue at the moment, she says with a laugh, is \u201ckeeping the house in order.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do have a big pile of dishes and laundry that needs to be done, but I find that that\u2019s the stuff I can push aside for the weekend,\u201d she says. \u201cMy first priorities are getting my work done, getting my schoolwork done, and making sure that my daughter is fed.\u201d<\/p>\n
A SPACE FOR EVERYTHING<\/strong><\/p>\nTekala Macsweyn is experienced in the world of post-secondary parenting. With four children ranging in age from seven to 18, the 33-year-old has always been a parent while in college, and was even a parent back in high school. That being said, she says it took an entire year for things to run smoothly, for everyone to have everything they needed when leaving the house in the morning, and for her to find quiet study spaces to do her schoolwork.<\/p>\n
\u201cLeaving my children and going to another place isn\u2019t always an option, but with the lack of childcare, you\u2019re forced to get things done with your children at home,\u201d she says. \u201cThe most challenging thing was probably to divide the rooms in our house up in a way that there\u2019s a segregated area where we do schoolwork.\u201d<\/p>\n
What led Macsweyn\u2014who is majoring in Criminology and Psychology\u2014to Camosun was, in short, her hatred of her former career as an independent broker. While she found it fascinating to learn about selling insurance and investments, ultimately, she felt the career conflicted with her values.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was selling things people don\u2019t need to them so that you can make money\u2014not great for feelings of self-worth. You\u2019re basically paid to manipulate people for a living,\u201d she says. \u201cNot a great job.\u201d<\/p>\n
Criminology and psychology are \u201coddly familiar\u201d for Macsweyn, as her mother worked in youth justice for the provincial government in Alberta for 45 years; at home, she would talk about the changing laws regarding how the province dealt with youth, says Macsweyn.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was a teenager for a lot of that, and we would discuss it,\u201d she says. \u201cShe didn\u2019t really dumb things down for me when I was a kid; she would openly talk about provincial policy and federal policy. It was kind of fantastic and challenging; it\u2019s nice to be challenged about the broader world at home.\u201d<\/p>\n
The biggest change in Macsweyn\u2019s relationship with her younger children is that they want her to be available all the time, but now she\u2019s sometimes distracted by her studies. Before she was at Camosun, Macsweyn was immersed in the role of a parent.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow that a piece of me is always mulling over something that I\u2019m learning in school, I think they can tell,\u201d she says. \u201cI think they can tell that my focus is divided sometimes, so I imagine that\u2019s been the biggest impact with parenting\u2014the time and the focus.\u201d<\/p>\n
AN INTERNATIONAL PERSPECTIVE<\/strong><\/p>\nQuang Nguyen is in his second year of his post-degree diploma in Human Resources Management and Leadership; he recognizes the enormous difference in experiences as a student now compared to the first time he was getting a post-secondary education. The 48-year-old says that it\u2019s been more than 25 years since he got his first university degree in medicine.<\/p>\n
\u201cLike you,\u201d he says, \u201cI was very young and independent and very much enjoyed the student life, nothing to worry about, but now I have many things to be concerned about, with my kids, my job after graduation, my son\u2019s job after graduation, how\u2019s my daughter, her high school and after that\u2014so [there are] many things to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n
After gaining many years of experience working in a medical supply company, the father of two decided to take a break for three reasons: to de-stress from the business world, to gain his diploma in Human Resources Management and Leadership, and to take care of his university-aged son and middle-school-aged daughter. Despite his son being in the Visual Arts program at the University of Victoria, there\u2019s not as much post-secondary father\/son bonding going on as one might think.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe have meals together, we prepare dinner together, we have a part-time job on the weekend together, and we go cycling together\u2014not in the winter, but in the summertime. I try to bond with him by that kind of activity,\u201d he says. \u201cWith my daughter, I support her in terms of homework, but most of the time it\u2019s just chatting\u2014and she doesn\u2019t need support in class, she needs support outside the class, like to go shopping to buy something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nguyen says that, after living in Vietnam, he has no concerns about letting his daughter walk to school.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause the traffic in Vietnam is very bad, very crowded\u2014lots of people in cars and motorbikes and a lot of people\u2014the traffic on the trip is very dangerous,\u201d he says. \u201cWe\u2019d never leave the children to walk on the street, and they either take the school bus or have a parent drive them to school.\u201d<\/p>\n
PURSUING WHAT YOU WANT<\/strong><\/p>\nWhen I approach first-year Mechanical Engineering student Braeden Parrott and ask if he can spare 20 minutes to be interviewed for this story, he briefly hesitates; he ends up agreeing, but as the interview goes on, I understand why he hesitated. With his wife and eight-month-old son, he is just beginning to go through the roller coaster of parenthood. The full-time student says that Engineering is a pretty intense program, but because his wife Anna is on maternity leave she takes on most of the parental duties.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe idea of me staying home wasn\u2019t possible because I have to go to school, and, being 39, I don\u2019t have the time to put into it; my time is fairly limited past this,\u201d he says. \u201cI\u2019ve only got 26 useable years before I have to retire, so at 39 years old and five years into a program, I\u2019d be 44 by the time I complete the program [if I stayed home for a year with my son], which puts me a year behind and gives me less time to work, right? In total, the time wasn\u2019t available for me in my life to stop and do that,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
After Anna completed her Business degree and before Braeden started at Camosun, the two spent a couple years working. Braeden was working in fracking, in a job he hated, which is why he decided to go back to school for something he wanted to pursue. At the same time, he says, the couple couldn\u2019t put off having a baby for much longer. But when working in fracking, Braeden was away too often; since he and his wife wanted to have a baby, he knew he had to be closer to home.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to have something where I could be a little more centred, not being gone on the road for two weeks at a time, and being a parent at home,\u201d he says. \u201cAnd then there\u2019s the danger of the job, right? I didn\u2019t want to have a baby and then have the possibility of me getting injured or just dying because I was working in fracking; it was pretty dangerous.\u201d<\/p>\n
All of this brought Braeden to Mechanical Engineering. Although being in the program means he\u2019s gone for the majority of the day, he says that the positive is in being able to see his son every day.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s still a trade-off\u2014like, I don\u2019t get to spend as much time with him as I\u2019d like to\u2014but I\u2019m still there,\u201d he says, \u201cwhere before I would have been gone for those developmental steps. I\u2019m still there every day, even if I don\u2019t get as much time as I\u2019d like every day.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Parrotts are looking into putting their son in daycare, which comes with its own struggles. Camosun offers childcare services, but Braeden says that it\u2019s not all that convenient for the couple because Anna would have to be the one taking care of it all, and she\u2019s not a Camosun student.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe kind of looked into it, but I\u2019m not sure because it would be her, for the most part, having to deal with him,\u201d he says. \u201cIt\u2019s not really that convenient. If she was a student, then, yeah, but it would be more convenient to have somewhere that is closer to our place, or close to her work, as she\u2019s basically going to have to be responsible for it, because I just don\u2019t have the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
CREATING A HOME<\/strong><\/p>\nWhen Deniz Unsal arrived from Istanbul in 2015, school wasn\u2019t even on her mind; she was too worried about making the move comfortable for her 11-year-old son. After putting him in school, she spent the next several months putting down roots and finding a community in her neighbourhood. Today, Unsal is in the Digital Production, Writing and Design program at Camosun.<\/p>\n
\u201cGradually, [my son] is now feeling much more comfortable here, and so I started working a bit and taking this program, but being a student at the college and having a kid is tough in many ways,\u201d she says. \u201cI can\u2019t take all of my courses, for instance; I have to be back at home around 3 when he comes back from school. When I was choosing my classes, if there\u2019s a section that is between the school hours, I\u2019ll take those; if they\u2019re outside his school hours, then I have to take those next year or find another solution.\u201d<\/p>\n
Unsal\u2019s previous education is in anthropology, and she teaches Continuing Studies classes at the University of Victoria. Her time spent working in museums developed her skills in creating accessible versions of stories for the public. While she can do academic research and write papers, digital skills are where everything is going, she says.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m kind of used to going and speaking with people [about] their lives, their traditions, so I\u2019m used to that kind of background experience in producing stories that are maybe more popular but also have a depth in it,\u201d she says. \u201cThen I\u2019ll use [digital skills] to disseminate them to the digital platforms, because I have published books and articles, but, well, now that I think about it, I never wrote a blog,\u201d she says with a chuckle. \u201cSo, I\u2019m getting used to that kind of platform, because that\u2019s where everything is going right now. I feel like I have to keep updated with the new generations.\u201d<\/p>\n
With that in mind, the 45-year-old is enjoying learning these new digital skills and hints that her son is as well. She thinks he too likes the idea of her being a student because of stories she shares regarding the digital world, considering that he\u2019s \u201csuper interested in computers\u201d and their applications.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow he sees I\u2019m also getting into that area and now he feels like, \u2018Oh, actually, Mom is not this old-fashioned mom, but she\u2019s dealing with this cool stuff,\u2019\u201d she says. \u201cI think maybe he\u2019s thinking differently about me now, looking at me differently. I had [Adobe] Illustrator on the computer the other day and he\u2019s like, \u2018Whoa, how do you use that? Where do I click?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
As for the rest of the time, Unsal attempts to balance working on homework, doing housework, and raising her son. She says that it\u2019s getting easier, as he\u2019s more comfortable being in the city and can handle more responsibility on his own. Still, that doesn\u2019t mean time management isn\u2019t a big deal.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s true, you have to time things well. I work a lot at night after he goes to bed, so that\u2019s like my homework time\u2014like, the quizzes I have to do, I do it during that time. During the day, it\u2019s hard, and the weekends are hard too, I must say, because he waits to be entertained and I have to carry him from here to there, like sports or clubs or music or friends and sleepovers and all those things you have to organize,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s like organizing your work for your class, in a way.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The stresses of school are well known to any student, and the stresses of parenting are well known to anyone raising kids. My heart threatens to give out just thinking about combining the two, yet some Camosun students manage to do it. A few questions fly through my mind when thinking about students who are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15062,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,203],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-november-29-2017"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15091"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15091\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15092,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15091\/revisions\/15092"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15062"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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