{"id":15515,"date":"2018-03-07T09:00:24","date_gmt":"2018-03-07T17:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=15515"},"modified":"2018-03-13T09:13:14","modified_gmt":"2018-03-13T16:13:14","slug":"open-space-my-discomfort-with-metoo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/03\/07\/open-space-my-discomfort-with-metoo\/","title":{"rendered":"Open Space<\/em>: My discomfort with #MeToo"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am a feminist. I live to rip holes in the male-woven fabric of society. My soul preaches at the mention of Beyonc\u00e9. My skin crawls when I hear words like \u201cslut\u201d and \u201cbossy.\u201d<\/p>\n

I get it, ladies. Really: I do.<\/p>\n

Over the past few months, I\u2019ve watched two tiny words change the power dynamic between men and women forever. The concept behind those two words is simple: if you\u2019re a woman who\u2019s suffered sexual injustice or abuse at the hands of men, write #MeToo in your social media status. It\u2019s become a revolution\u2014a wave of women proclaiming they\u2019ve been on the receiving end of unwanted sexual advances.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
This story originally appeared in our March 7, 2018 issue.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The world is officially woke.<\/p>\n

These stories are empowering, raw, and expository, tearing down the patriarchy. Women have had enough.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s about flipping time.<\/p>\n

I see my Facebook feed flooded by countless women in my life standing together. Women I\u2019ve respected and known for years are declaring\u2014either through a simple hashtag or a full-on story\u2014that they have been been unjustly exploited by men.<\/p>\n

Like I say, part of me is a preaching, proud feminist, and when I see these posts, my heart simultaneously swells and splinters at the strength these women possess for coming forward.<\/p>\n

And part of me is incredibly uncomfortable with the #MeToo movement.<\/p>\n

I am\u2014selfishly, I\u2019m aware\u2014hurt that they\u2019ve never shared this before in all our sleepovers, coffee dates, dinner parties, 2-am drunken texts, and three-hour phone conversations. Why am I learning about this at same time as their 700 other Facebook friends?<\/p>\n

Their declarations aren\u2019t about me; however, they are about all womankind. My hurt feelings are irrelevant and insignificant. Marginalization at its finest.<\/p>\n

There is also another part of me longing to throw a hashtag on my wall, to claim those moments I too felt pressured by men. But I haven\u2019t. I\u2019ve remained silent.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m scared. I\u2019m unsure. I don\u2019t want to point a finger. Is my experience worthy of #MeToo?<\/p>\n

As the conversation grows, I want desperately to participate, to prove that I am \u201cone of the girls.\u201d To own my sexuality and grab my feminism by the balls. To proclaim I\u2019ve been there. \u201cI get it, ladies. Really, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m not ready for my experience to be defined by a hashtag. Because it can\u2019t be. Like everyone else\u2019s, it\u2019s complex and messy, and while society has decided it\u2019s time to talk about it I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m ready. But, as a feminist, how can I not participate in such an empowering movement?<\/p>\n

As women\u2019s stories overtake our social media accounts and newspapers, I wonder if we\u2019re so concerned about being woke that we\u2019ve forgotten why these stories were ever silent to begin with: because women were afraid to vocalize that they were victimized. Because women have been taught, on some level, that\u2014from what we wore to what we said to what we did, or didn\u2019t, do\u2014we could have\u2014or even worse, should have\u2014done something to prevent our stories.<\/p>\n

These are the scars and scabs we\u2019re picking at by exposing our truths. For some women, it\u2019s therapeutic, but for others, it\u2019s a trigger. Some aren\u2019t ready, but still they give in to the pressure of the almighty hashtag, because if it didn\u2019t happen on social media, it didn\u2019t happen\u2026 right?<\/p>\n

With this movement, we\u2019ve opened Pandora\u2019s Box. We\u2019ve had enough. What\u2019s the next step?<\/p>\n

Yes, there is power in numbers. Yes, there is power in starting a crusade. But at what cost? The damage caused by these experiences doesn\u2019t disappear simply because a hashtag\u2019s been attached to it.<\/p>\n

The reality is that no amount of likes will validate our experiences or soothe the pain they\u2019ve caused.<\/p>\n

Congratulations: we\u2019re trending. Now what?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am a feminist. I live to rip holes in the male-woven fabric of society. My soul preaches at the mention of Beyonc\u00e9. My skin crawls when I hear words like \u201cslut\u201d and \u201cbossy.\u201d I get it, ladies. Really: I do. Over the past few months, I\u2019ve watched two tiny words change the power dynamic […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15514,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,208],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-views","category-march-7-2018"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15515","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15515"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15515\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15518,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15515\/revisions\/15518"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}