{"id":15613,"date":"2018-03-21T09:00:02","date_gmt":"2018-03-21T16:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=15613"},"modified":"2018-03-27T09:16:36","modified_gmt":"2018-03-27T16:16:36","slug":"open-space-on-peacocks-and-unwanted-cocks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/03\/21\/open-space-on-peacocks-and-unwanted-cocks\/","title":{"rendered":"Open Space<\/em>: On peacocks and unwanted cocks"},"content":{"rendered":"

In an era where we\u2019re obsessed with smartphones, online dating has become increasingly popular. This, combined with our generation\u2019s need for instant gratification and sexual freedom, has created a phenomenon of men sending dick pics\u2014\u201cpeacocking,\u201d if you will\u2014to women they meet online.<\/p>\n

The first time I received one of these photos, I had just signed up for a dating site. (My best friend was convinced that being a sexual recluse was not a good look for me.) I was a good Catholic girl, so imagine my shock when I opened the message to see a photograph of a random man\u2019s genitals. I was enraged, horrified, and a little concerned for my soul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
This story originally appeared in the March 21, 2018 issue of Nexus<\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I discussed this with my friend, she said dick pics were landmines in the combat zone of online dating.<\/p>\n

A few years\u2014and more unwelcome phallic photographs than I\u2019d like to remember\u2014later, I accepted this truth. For whatever reason, men like to send dick pics. I tried to wrap my mind around this. Maybe because men are such visual creatures, they think if they send us theirs, we\u2019ll send them ours? A little tit for tat? Maybe they think we\u2019ll weep with joy at the beauty of what we\u2019re seeing?<\/p>\n

Let me set the record straight: firstly, breasts are not currency. A guy doesn\u2019t get them as payment for sending a picture of his unkempt man bush. Secondly, while I can appreciate the majesty of its function, the penis is not an aesthetically pleasing appendage.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t pretend to speak for womankind; however, in my experience, if a man sends a dick pic, he\u2019s more likely to be judged over brunch by a group of girlfriends than to acquire a girlfriend of his own. We sit around, facepalming, cringing, and hypothesizing about what possesses someone to send a nude photo to a stranger. The best theory we have is that it\u2019s like when a housecat brings home a dismembered bird: Look, human, I have a present for you\u2026. Why are you screaming?<\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m screaming because when a man thrusts himself on me\u2014even virtually\u2014he takes away my sexual power.<\/p>\n

A few months ago, I saw a glimmer of relief for my retinas when a brave group of ladies called out Harvey Weinstein. Finally, men were being held accountable for their actions and being woken to the concept of consent.<\/p>\n

So, how am I still getting dick pics?<\/p>\n

I recently got into an argument with an online offender about this. His first interaction with me was a single word, \u201cHey,\u201d a winky emoji, and a photo of his genitals. I ranted and reported him in return. He called me a prude. Maybe I am\u2014Catholic scars (even fallen ones) run deep; however, I\u2019m so much more than that. I\u2019m a stranger who has not granted him clemency from the sexual harassment whistle simply because we matched on some website.<\/p>\n

As I explained to him, unsolicited pictures of your genitals are no different than exposing yourself on the bus. If I did not ask to see it, flashing me is sexual harassment. It\u2019s not funny, or cute, or sexy.<\/p>\n

Maybe my opinion makes me a prude, but I take solace in the fact that I\u2019m not alone. I also take solace in the changing tide. Hopefully, by the time my kids are online dating, they won\u2019t be subject to dick pics and the mental images they leave behind. In the meantime, menfolk, the next time you\u2019re urged to send photos of your penis, try sending a puppy instead. I can almost guarantee you\u2019ll get a better response.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In an era where we\u2019re obsessed with smartphones, online dating has become increasingly popular. This, combined with our generation\u2019s need for instant gratification and sexual freedom, has created a phenomenon of men sending dick pics\u2014\u201cpeacocking,\u201d if you will\u2014to women they meet online. The first time I received one of these photos, I had just signed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,209],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-views","category-march-21-2018"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15613","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15613"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15613\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15615,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15613\/revisions\/15615"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}