{"id":15698,"date":"2018-04-01T09:00:30","date_gmt":"2018-04-01T16:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=15698"},"modified":"2018-04-01T10:30:23","modified_gmt":"2018-04-01T17:30:23","slug":"april-1-exclusive-camosun-to-implement-therapy-tarantulas-and-scorpions-for-stressed-out-students","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/04\/01\/april-1-exclusive-camosun-to-implement-therapy-tarantulas-and-scorpions-for-stressed-out-students\/","title":{"rendered":"April 1 exclusive: Camosun to implement therapy tarantulas and scorpions for stressed-out students"},"content":{"rendered":"

With the stress of final exams looming, the tension on both Camosun\u2019s Lansdowne and Interurban campuses is palpable. Camosun students are wandering like time-bomb zombies, waiting to explode with the pressure of mounting assignments and tests; some students, apparently, have, literally, not slept for three years.<\/p>\n

Lucky for the tension-riddled masses, a solution has been presented to help combat the end-of-semester blues: exotic creature cuddles.<\/p>\n

In an exciting pilot project, Camosun plans to bring therapy animals to the Lansdowne campus, with the intention of expanding to Interurban next year. Studies have shown the stress-reducing benefits of therapy animals; spending time playing with a puppy or cuddling a kitty has been proven to lower heart rates and release endorphins\u2014something all students could use at this trying time of year.<\/p>\n

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This story did not appear in the March 21, 2018 issue of Nexus<\/em>, because it’s an April Fool’s joke.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The college had hoped to provide shelter dogs and cats to the students; unfortunately, it appears that with recent changes in regard to laws surrounding renting to pet owners, an influx in pet adoptions has left the shelters empty.<\/p>\n

Luckily, a generous student\u2014who wishes to remain anonymous\u2014has offered to donate his veritable petting zoo for his classmates to snuggle; henceforth, starting April 1, 2018, Terry the Tarantula, Silvio the Scorpion, Randy the Rat, and Perry the Python will be available at various locations on the Lansdowne campus for a quick hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnonymous\u201d hopes students will take advantage of his unconventional menagerie. \u201cCreepy-crawlies get such a bad rep,\u201d he says. \u201cBut they are so sweet! Silvio has only stung me a handful of times. And he\u2019s only a little poisonous. I\u2019ll make sure to send some antivenom with him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnonymous\u201d is quick to point out the advantages of these creatures over traditional therapy pets. \u201cRats are super smart!\u201d he says. \u201cRandy helped me ace physics last semester!\u201d<\/p>\n

When pressed to discuss how a rat can do physics, \u201cAnonymous\u201d said \u201che\u2019s really good with multiple choice! He leaves a little present beside the right answer! He\u2019s also small enough that you can sneak him into an exam in your pocket!\u201d<\/p>\n

While Nexus<\/em> doesn\u2019t condone cheating, we do support checking out these amazing creatures! Just make sure you bring your scorpion antivenom.<\/p>\n

Update: after this story was finished, <\/em>Nexus was informed that there was a \u201csituation\u201d while Perry the Python and Randy the Rat were being transported to campus together. RIP, Randy.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With the stress of final exams looming, the tension on both Camosun\u2019s Lansdowne and Interurban campuses is palpable. Camosun students are wandering like time-bomb zombies, waiting to explode with the pressure of mounting assignments and tests; some students, apparently, have, literally, not slept for three years. Lucky for the tension-riddled masses, a solution has been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t