{"id":15701,"date":"2018-04-01T09:00:33","date_gmt":"2018-04-01T16:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=15701"},"modified":"2018-03-28T12:45:49","modified_gmt":"2018-03-28T19:45:49","slug":"april-1-exclusive-enrolment-at-camosun-skyrockets-after-pipe-blunder-channels-local-craft-beer-into-school-pipes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/04\/01\/april-1-exclusive-enrolment-at-camosun-skyrockets-after-pipe-blunder-channels-local-craft-beer-into-school-pipes\/","title":{"rendered":"April 1 exclusive: Enrolment at Camosun skyrockets after pipe blunder channels local craft beer into school pipes"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you notice that students seem a bit happier this week, not to mention falling over drunk, that\u2019s because an error on the part of work crews occurred while installing a new pipeline that has replaced the school\u2019s drinking water with local craft beer. A spokesperson for Camosun College says this couldn\u2019t come at a worse time and it will impact many students intent on finishing the winter semester, but adds that it\u2019s \u201ckind of nice\u201d that some winter ale has made it into the pipes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe construction crews have made a major misstep and Camosun students will pay the price,\u201d said a spokesperson for the college, before going into a very detailed and analytical breakdown of the pros and cons of winter ales, triple IPAs, and doppelbocks.<\/p>\n

An anonymous source close to the pipeline project said that construction crews are short-staffed and overworked.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
This story did not appear in the March 21, 2018 issue of Nexus<\/em>, because it’s an April Fool’s joke.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cIt was only a matter of time before something unexpected happened,\u201d says the source, before stopping to let some beer pour out of a pipe straight into his mouth. \u201cPersonally, I think it\u2019s great, but others will disagree.\u201d<\/p>\n

On April 1, crews installing a section of pipe that runs under Government Street to Pandora and toward the Inner Harbour made some miscalculations. The pipe also runs under a couple of microbreweries; several cellaring tanks, where beer is matured before packaging, were punctured. Fresh brew from Vancouver Island Brewery, Phillips, and Swan\u2019s Brewpub have since drained into the new pipeline, which ends up at Camosun\u2019s Lansdowne campus.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould have been worse,\u201d shrugged an anonymous source at the college. \u201cCould have been Budweiser. I\u2019m just wondering if Phillips will put any of their seasonals in there. I mean, they might sneak a surprise reintroduction of that delicious Polaris milk stout in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t be happier,\u201d adds Nexus<\/em> managing editor Greg Pratt. \u201cThe porter coming out of the office faucet is damn tasty. Did you see the length of our feature stories this semester? This is really going to help me get through editing those. Wait, is this on the record?\u201d<\/p>\n

Officials from all parties involved hope to have the situation corrected as soon as possible, but, in the meantime, the college has found one unexpected bonus: enrolment for spring and summer classes has already skyrocketed, and cafeteria sales are through the roof. On the downside, the state of the bathrooms has been more than the college\u2019s custodial staff can deal with.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw one student trying to drink from the toilet because all the other faucets and fountains were in use,\u201d says Camosun communications instructor Randy Spyce. \u201cI pointed out that it probably wasn\u2019t lager in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you notice that students seem a bit happier this week, not to mention falling over drunk, that\u2019s because an error on the part of work crews occurred while installing a new pipeline that has replaced the school\u2019s drinking water with local craft beer. A spokesperson for Camosun College says this couldn\u2019t come at a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15701"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15702,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15701\/revisions\/15702"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}