{"id":16052,"date":"2018-06-13T09:00:52","date_gmt":"2018-06-13T16:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=16052"},"modified":"2018-06-12T10:57:16","modified_gmt":"2018-06-12T17:57:16","slug":"lets-talk-can-i-say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/06\/13\/lets-talk-can-i-say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Let\u2019s Talk?<\/em>: Can I say no?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Understanding the concept of consent should not be that difficult. Anything other than an uninfluenced, unpressured, clearly vocalized \u201cyes\u201d means \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

So why did it just take multiple minutes of me staring at my computer screen, taking an opinion poll of my friends, and looking up a dictionary definition for me to define \u201cconsent\u201d?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Let’s Talk?<\/em> is a column exploring women’s rights issues; it’s in every issue of Nexus<\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

While the concept should be super easy to understand, it\u2019s a multifaceted issue. But, to be clear, I do not mean there is wiggle room with consent.\u00a0There is no grey area when it comes to acquiring consent. None. Let me reiterate: anything other than an uninfluenced, unpressured, clearly vocalized \u201cyes\u201d means \u201cno.\u201d Got it?<\/p>\n

The grey area lies in the giving of consent. Without vocalizing a clear \u201cyes,\u201d there is no permission. The person giving consent holds all the cards. All the power.<\/p>\n

Coming at this from the opinion of a straight female, I can say based on my life experience, when it comes to giving consent, I have not found it to be a powerful position. It\u2019s a position of self-doubt, a position of not wanting to be pigeonholed a prude, a tease, or\u2014even worse\u2014rude.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a position of years of ego-chipping built on \u201cif he pulls your pigtails, it means he likes you,\u201d and \u201cyou can\u2019t wear that. Boys will get the wrong idea.\u201d It\u2019s a position of dress codes as a teenager and, later, moving in self-preserving packs at the bar.<\/p>\n

To be powerful, one needs to be empowered\u2014 and to know without a doubt that anything other than an uninfluenced, unpressured, clearly vocalized \u201cyes\u201d means \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n

I hope this concept will be ingrained in future generations from such an early age that they will never question it.<\/p>\n

But what about the rest of us? What about the women who grew up being taught \u201cno means no\u201d and everything else had a grey area attached to it? And even in the crystal-clear world of \u201cno means no\u201d there\u2019s a million asterisks\u2014what were you wearing? Were you drinking?<\/p>\n

When you Google the word \u201cconsent,\u201d the definition that pops up includes the synonyms \u201cyield to,\u201d \u201cgive in to,\u201d and \u201csubmit to.\u201d And until very recently, this was an accurate description. That mentality doesn\u2019t change overnight.<\/p>\n

Consent is a taught skill. And many of us are still trying to find our voices in the rules of a game that has changed us from being prey to being equal participants.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Understanding the concept of consent should not be that difficult. Anything other than an uninfluenced, unpressured, clearly vocalized \u201cyes\u201d means \u201cno.\u201d So why did it just take multiple minutes of me staring at my computer screen, taking an opinion poll of my friends, and looking up a dictionary definition for me to define \u201cconsent\u201d? While […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15677,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,212],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-june-13-2018"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t