{"id":16365,"date":"2018-09-12T09:00:22","date_gmt":"2018-09-12T16:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=16365"},"modified":"2018-09-12T11:41:48","modified_gmt":"2018-09-12T18:41:48","slug":"lets-talk-on-online-dating-and-more-dick-pics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/09\/12\/lets-talk-on-online-dating-and-more-dick-pics\/","title":{"rendered":"Let\u2019s Talk?<\/em>: On online dating and more dick pics"},"content":{"rendered":"

Online dating is like childbirth: you forget how bad it is until you\u2019re in the throes of it. After receiving my umpteenth unsolicited dick pic last spring, I swore off any app that promised a match; however, after realizing that between school and work a vast majority of the men I meet in my daily life are either man-children or profs, I decided to give it another whirl. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was hopeful that with the upheaval of the patriarchy and the massive amount of whistle-blowing on sexual harassment, menfolk would have calmed down. And, I will say, I was pleasantly surprised that some of them have.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Let’s Talk?<\/em> is a column exploring women’s rights issues; it’s in every issue of Nexus<\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The amount of polite \u201cyou seem interesting, and I\u2019d like to start a conversation with you\u201d messages has increased. However, there are still the others: the ones that make me want to throw my phone in the toilet and become a nun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t even have the energy to clap back at the ones who greet me with the mildly (but online standard) misogynistic openers, the ones that only comment on my looks or refer to me as \u201csexy\u201d or \u201cbaby\u201d in their greetings.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because the sad truth is, while they\u2019re groanworthy (and not in a good way), they\u2019re nothing compared to the ones who ask if you will suck their toes, or the ones who wonder if you\u2019d be interested in hooking up with a married man to get back at his cheating wife, or the guy whose first message to me informed me of his preference for a lack of downstairs grooming habits in his partner (I should have connected him with the guy who thought a request to see my lady bits\u00a0 <\/span>was an appropriate opening line).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The saddest part is not that these men are sending these messages, but that, based on personal experience, calling them out on their behaviour only seems to fuel them. If I clap back, they take it as an invitation to either continue the behaviour (FYI: \u201cfuck you\u201d is not flirting) or call me out for being a prude, or for needing to lighten up, or for being \u201ca man-hater.\u201d<\/p>\n

How? How is this still a thing? There is one plain and simple rule: if you wouldn\u2019t say it in person, don\u2019t say it online. Because one time you\u2019re gonna send that message to the wrong girl\u2014the kind of girl who will screenshot that shit and post it on social media with hopes that it will go viral, and you\u2019ll become the poster boy for sexism.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Seriously, menfolk of the interweb: smarten up. It\u2019s 2018. Sexual harassment is not flirting. Learn the difference.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Online dating is like childbirth: you forget how bad it is until you\u2019re in the throes of it. After receiving my umpteenth unsolicited dick pic last spring, I swore off any app that promised a match; however, after realizing that between school and work a vast majority of the men I meet in my daily […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15677,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,217],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-september-12-2018"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16365"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16366,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16365\/revisions\/16366"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15677"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}