{"id":16791,"date":"2018-11-21T09:00:05","date_gmt":"2018-11-21T17:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=16791"},"modified":"2018-11-19T13:26:33","modified_gmt":"2018-11-19T21:26:33","slug":"lets-talk-fuckboys-2-0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2018\/11\/21\/lets-talk-fuckboys-2-0\/","title":{"rendered":"Let\u2019s Talk?<\/em>: Fuckboys 2.0"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last issue, I talked (or vented and gave our poor editor an extra grey hair or two) about my frustration with \u201cfuckboys\u201d and the role they play in today\u2019s society. I think it\u2019s important to acknowledge just that: they play a role. They are not the be-all-end-all of the dating pool, and as a society we function as a democracy, not a dictatorship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Fuckboys get away with their behaviour because the patriarchy allows it and, until incredibly recently, encourages it (in many cases it actually still does encourage it). Yes, the pendulum is swinging the other way, but it doesn\u2019t change the fact that fuckboyishness is a taught behavior. As is women\u2019s tolerance of it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Let’s Talk?<\/em> is a column exploring women’s rights issues; it’s in every issue of Nexus<\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The reality is, as much as we are currently fighting tooth and nail to change the perspective, there are thousands of years of tolerance engrained in us that, on an instinctive level, tell us that \u201cboys will be boys\u201d and that as women, we are expected to allow and\u2014even worse\u2014accept this behaviour.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, logically, we know this is no longer true, and my feminist self hates me for admitting this, but that inherent drive doesn\u2019t just change overnight.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I still find myself being the nurturer, coaxing emotional responses, and rewarding men like they\u2019re puppies who earned a treat when they correctly identify emotions. And, really, is that doing any of us a favour? But what\u2019s the alternative? Roll the paper up and bop them on the nose when they say something sexist or make a mess on the carpet? Is that helpful in rewriting the narrative? Or is my hesitancy just another example of the engrained beliefs of the patriarchy?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And at what point do we acknowledge that women are just done? We\u2019re done asking nicely; we\u2019re done being understanding; we\u2019re done sacrificing our self-worth and emotions for the fuckboys of the world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But maybe, just maybe, in this time of anger, it\u2019s important to show a little compassion. That doesn\u2019t mean we have to tolerate the behaviour, but how realistic is it to expect this behaviour to change overnight? There may be some truth to the old saying \u201cYou can\u2019t teach an old dog new tricks.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t mean we should give up on the old dogs, but maybe we should turn our attention to the puppies\u2014the younger generation who have yet to have opinions and behaviours formed by the patriarchy. Maybe we should give them the tools to treat our daughters the way we want to be treated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last issue, I talked (or vented and gave our poor editor an extra grey hair or two) about my frustration with \u201cfuckboys\u201d and the role they play in today\u2019s society. I think it\u2019s important to acknowledge just that: they play a role. They are not the be-all-end-all of the dating pool, and as a society […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15677,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,223],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16791","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-november-21-2018"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16791","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16791"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16791\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16792,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16791\/revisions\/16792"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15677"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}