{"id":18040,"date":"2019-08-28T09:00:25","date_gmt":"2019-08-28T16:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=18040"},"modified":"2019-08-27T11:00:08","modified_gmt":"2019-08-27T18:00:08","slug":"hold-my-beer-i-lost-my-keys-drunk-on-deadlines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2019\/08\/28\/hold-my-beer-i-lost-my-keys-drunk-on-deadlines\/","title":{"rendered":"Hold My Beer, I Lost My Keys<\/em>: Drunk on deadlines"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

You know, when I got the opportunity to start this column and came up with the idea for Hold My Beer, I Lost My Keys<\/em>, I was over the moon about the thought that any wisdom I\u2019ve accumulated while attempting to walk the tightrope of being a responsible adult and self-assured child with a credit card could be valuable. However, what followed this feeling of self-inflation was some of the most mind-numbing writer\u2019s block I\u2019ve ever had. So I did what any post-adolescent Victorian would do: I went to the beach and drank like my column was already written and trapped under all this damned beer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Justifying it to myself that if Hunter S. Thompson could write on Chivas Regal, cigarettes, cocaine, acid, and apple fritters, I should be able to just breeze by on craft beer and sunburns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Hold My Beer, I Lost My Keys<\/em> is a column dealing with issues around growing up (photo provided).<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Of course, I was wrong, and now I\u2019m writing this an hour before deadline with a hangover and sand in my toes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that really is what this column is about. Here I am sweating over the fact that I can\u2019t think of any stupid mistakes I\u2019ve made so you don\u2019t have to, and I\u2019ve gone and made one in the pursuit of past fuck-ups! I still got it. After all, this column needs an introduction, and what more of an appropriate start could there be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, to summarize, throughout this semester I will be presenting real, innocent, and embarrassing mistakes I\u2019ve made throughout my life, and exploring how I\u2019ve rationalized, deconstructed, and learned from the experiences to better my understanding of \u201cadulting,\u201d as the hip kids are calling it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From mastering Tinder to conquering taxes, I\u2019ll be letting you in as to why you shouldn\u2019t feel so bad about forgetting someone\u2019s name on a date or parking in a bus lane. You\u2019re not alone\u2014we all make mistakes, and reading about mine might make your day a little brighter in a weird, sadistic kind of way. In today\u2019s column, we learned that I am not Hunter S. Thompson (although, on a lot of levels, he wasn\u2019t exactly a model to begin with) and that it\u2019s best to celebrate, or admit defeat, after the fact. After all, Phillips may make great beer, but they make a really shitty writer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until next time, don\u2019t do anything that I would do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know, when I got the opportunity to start this column and came up with the idea for Hold My Beer, I Lost My Keys, I was over the moon about the thought that any wisdom I\u2019ve accumulated while attempting to walk the tightrope of being a responsible adult and self-assured child with a credit […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18042,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,235],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-august-28-2019"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18040"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18043,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18040\/revisions\/18043"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}