{"id":19884,"date":"2020-09-15T09:00:54","date_gmt":"2020-09-15T16:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=19884"},"modified":"2020-09-14T13:12:54","modified_gmt":"2020-09-14T20:12:54","slug":"because-i-said-so-the-in-between","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2020\/09\/15\/because-i-said-so-the-in-between\/","title":{"rendered":"Because I Said So<\/em>: The in-between"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lately, I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about beginnings, endings, and everything in between. I\u2019ve realized over time that getting from point A to point B is never a smooth, straight line; instead, it\u2019s curvy and jagged, and I can never find that darn ruler when I need it.<\/p>\n

Twenty years ago, I married the person I loved. We met in the Caribbean, where we both lived and worked. Life was easy. The sun was always shining, we had money, and, well\u2026 we lived in the Caribbean.<\/p>\n

We married and moved to Canada, my home. Shortly after moving away from our lovely Caribbean island, our relationship began to change, and life wasn\u2019t as easy as it had been.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Because I Said So<\/em> is a column examining the balance between parenting and post-secondary (photo provided).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And so, it\u2019s been 20 years of trying to make things work while having children, building a home, and growing roots, based on something that once was love.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve found out, love can mean different things to different people; if they don\u2019t mesh, well, love can\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

So now I\u2019m in the process of a divorce, and it got me thinking about the last 20 years and beginnings and ends and everything in between.<\/p>\n

My first meeting with a lawyer was a discussion on what steps would be taken to end the marriage\u2014kids, money, house, etc. I felt overwhelmed as I walked away; I could feel the ground beneath me shake. I could hear the crack of roots breaking away.<\/p>\n

We sat our children down and announced our plans of divorce. I forced a smile as we explained to them that everything would be okay, that we were still a family. We watched as their tears fell.\u00a0 I could hear the roots again crack and squeal, and I felt an ache beneath my ribs.<\/p>\n

Some people will tell you that divorce is easy, but those people haven\u2019t been through a divorce. Divorce is not easy, especially if you have children.<\/p>\n

So far, I\u2019m proud of how my partner and I have handled the things that happen in a divorce, but I expect that it will get tougher and that I may not always be proud of us.<\/p>\n

Soon, going from point A to point B won\u2019t be as simple. Our family will be dismantled and rearranged. Like a mature tree in a storm, we will lose the battle, we will be uprooted, and we will fall.<\/p>\n

We will crawl away from beneath the branches, find a cocoon, and fall apart for a bit.<\/p>\n

And, while I have discovered through time that it\u2019s what happens in between that matters the most, I\u2019ve learned to love the beginnings and accept the endings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lately, I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about beginnings, endings, and everything in between. I\u2019ve realized over time that getting from point A to point B is never a smooth, straight line; instead, it\u2019s curvy and jagged, and I can never find that darn ruler when I need it. Twenty years ago, I married the person […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19581,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19884","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19884"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19884\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19886,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19884\/revisions\/19886"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19884"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19884"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19884"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}