{"id":20047,"date":"2020-10-22T09:00:13","date_gmt":"2020-10-22T16:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=20047"},"modified":"2020-10-13T10:41:03","modified_gmt":"2020-10-13T17:41:03","slug":"freedom-from-addiction-addiction-as-a-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2020\/10\/22\/freedom-from-addiction-addiction-as-a-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"Freedom from Addiction<\/em>: Addiction as a friend"},"content":{"rendered":"

I asked one of my fellow recovering sex and love addicts what I might write about in this edition of my column, and she said, \u201cwrite about addiction as a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had to consider this. I must admit, I still often enough feel frustrated or disappointed with myself. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, always oversleeping, and can still easily get caught in old, addictive patterns of thinking, even though I\u2019ve been sober for some time from my primary addiction\u2014unhealthy relationships, sex, pornography, romantic intrigue, and excessive fantasy.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Freedom from Addiction<\/em> is a column exploring issues relating to addiction (graphic by bestdesigns).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

First, I will qualify this addiction as real, for many still are surprised to hear \u201csex and love\u201d labelled as an addiction. It has led me to life-threatening circumstances, and before I entered recovery from it, I was all but broken from this addiction. For me and many others, it is very real.<\/p>\n

So, why should I consider my addiction a friend after how it has hurt me? For starters, because we cannot simply will or wish it away, and we cannot overpower it by force. Addiction is deeply engrained, and it is very powerful.<\/p>\n

Moreover, there is always some rational human need beneath our addictive cravings and yearnings. When we have the emotional intelligence and awareness to speak kindly to ourselves, especially in our difficult moments, we can begin to discover what deeper feeling we are trying to get or avoid through our self-destructive behaviour.<\/p>\n

When we are craving sexual closeness or excitement, or romance, or a drink, or a bowl of ice cream, and the obsession has taken us over, there is something going on below our level of awareness. We should pause and ask, as if speaking to a friend who was distressed, \u201cWhat are you trying to feel, or not feel? What can I do for you to help?\u201d<\/p>\n

If we are brave enough to be willing, and have support from others, we may get an illuminating answer: we are hungry, thirsty, sad, grieving, afraid, lonely. Then, if we care about our \u201cfriend\u201d\u2014the addict that lives within us, as part of us\u2014we can help them get what they need in the moment\u2014a good meal, a friend to lament to, a walk by the ocean, or whatever else truly feeds us.<\/p>\n

We must befriend our inner addict and get to know them. As we grow stronger through recovery, we can learn to take care of our dear friend who has helped us survive, and we can relieve them of the burden they\u2019ve been carrying. Then we can begin to know freedom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I asked one of my fellow recovering sex and love addicts what I might write about in this edition of my column, and she said, \u201cwrite about addiction as a friend.\u201d I had to consider this. I must admit, I still often enough feel frustrated or disappointed with myself. I struggle to get out of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19487,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20047"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20048,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20047\/revisions\/20048"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19487"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}