{"id":21106,"date":"2021-05-31T09:00:52","date_gmt":"2021-05-31T16:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=21106"},"modified":"2021-06-07T09:22:30","modified_gmt":"2021-06-07T16:22:30","slug":"an-inside-voice-forced-to-find-inner-strength-while-dealing-with-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2021\/05\/31\/an-inside-voice-forced-to-find-inner-strength-while-dealing-with-loss\/","title":{"rendered":"An Inside Voice<\/em>: Forced to find inner strength while dealing with loss"},"content":{"rendered":"

During this pandemic, all of us have had to find new, possibly creative, ways to cope when normally support would be much easier to seek. It\u2019s May 2021 now, 14 months since campus closed due to COVID-19, and, like many of you, I did not anticipate for a second that it would stretch out this long, or that it would be so scary and complicated. Although BC\u2019s recently announced restart plan is promising, we\u2019re also hearing about mutations, variants, more lockdowns, rising numbers of cases, new restrictions, strict penalties for the refusal of rule compliance\u2026 The list goes on. We keep up with this while trying as students to keep up with assignments, classes, exams, and constantly changing online systems, while still trying to stay as connected to our people as possible. It\u2019s extremely hard. Mental-health issues, depression, and drug and alcohol misuse have been steadily on the rise. People are finding alternate ways to cope when help in our medical system isn\u2019t available.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
RIP, Brian (photo by Emily Welch).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This is a particularly personal subject with me because my partner Brian was one of these people. He was a Continuing Education student at Camosun, taking photography, something that gave him great joy, and he was one of the kindest, funniest, and intelligent people I\u2019ve ever known.<\/p>\n

He also struggled with episodes of serious depression.<\/p>\n

We requested psychiatric help for years, and were rejected time and time again. According to the professionals we talked to, he had the appearance of a healthy, decent life. He had a government job, a loving spouse, a stable home. No reason for depression. The demons that plagued him were invisible and silent to everyone but him. The doctor did not take his demons seriously, nor was I taken seriously when I begged for help on his behalf.<\/p>\n

To the devastation of all who knew and loved him, my partner died suddenly on April 13 of this year.<\/p>\n

The COVID isolation sickness that has plagued us all is too much for some who are fragile already, and the opiate crisis is killing good people who believe they must self-medicate if other help just isn\u2019t available. The mental-health medical system is failing at a time when it should be a top priority.<\/p>\n

The biggest tragedy is that during his last week alive, my partner went to emergency three times asking for help. Each time, within a few hours, he was sent home. The last time, we were literally scolded for continuing to call the ambulance and wasting their time, when, according to them, there were much more important things going on. Not a thought to the fact that a man in personal turmoil had asked for help three times in one week.<\/p>\n

Well, he found a different way to cope, and he definitely won\u2019t be calling again.<\/p>\n

I realize that this is much different than my other columns, and I apologize for the anger, for the resentment, for the despair.<\/p>\n

All I can take away from this is that I am still alive. I seem to have discovered strength I didn\u2019t know was there, yet there are many days where the grief is so real, so fresh, that it feels like I\u2019m wading through a field of knee-high mud as I progress through the day. I still expect Brian to drive up our driveway with dinner on his mind. Reality can be cruel, and difficult to accept, as is sudden change.<\/p>\n

So, what happens now? I am ultimately my own saviour; however, I take comfort that I am not alone throughout this. I have received a ton of support and remembrances, and Brian has left an impression on more people than I can count, through his work, his friends and family, and even places you\u2019d never expect, like his favourite restaurant, and the people he met flying his drones. One person really does leave a powerful map behind them.<\/p>\n

So, I will end with this\u2014we can never tell how much love actually surrounds us, or how much we might impact a random person. Before things seem too much to bear, or before isolation starts to literally drive us crazy, let\u2019s stay connected in whatever way possible, and let\u2019s not forget that when people ask for help, they mean it.<\/p>\n

Rest in peace, Brian. You are very much missed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

During this pandemic, all of us have had to find new, possibly creative, ways to cope when normally support would be much easier to seek. It\u2019s May 2021 now, 14 months since campus closed due to COVID-19, and, like many of you, I did not anticipate for a second that it would stretch out this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21118,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21106"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21113,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21106\/revisions\/21113"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21118"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}