{"id":21600,"date":"2021-10-14T09:00:41","date_gmt":"2021-10-14T16:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=21600"},"modified":"2021-10-12T13:41:45","modified_gmt":"2021-10-12T20:41:45","slug":"lets-talk-2-0-consent-is-key","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2021\/10\/14\/lets-talk-2-0-consent-is-key\/","title":{"rendered":"Let’s Talk 2.0<\/em>: Consent is key"},"content":{"rendered":"

What does consent sound like to you? Like many others, you may know what consent means in theory but struggle to imagine a scenario where it’s used properly. So, what is consent? How is it used? And why do we, the people living in the 21st century, seem to be so bad at it?<\/p>\n

To put it simply, consent is a permission or allowance of something. If you\u2019re at a friend\u2019s house and they ask you if you\u2019d like a cup of tea, you can say, \u201cSure, that sounds great,\u201d or, \u201cNo, thank you.\u201d If you say no, then your friend knows you don\u2019t want a cup of tea; it would be rude of them to make you tea without asking and then expect you to drink it. (There is a really great video on YouTube that uses this tea example; search \u201ctea and consent\u201d to see it.)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Let’s Talk 2.0<\/em> is a column exploring feminist issues (graphic by Celina Lessard\/Nexus<\/em>).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Consent is used in a number of ways and for a variety of purposes. Most of the time we might not even realize we\u2019re doing it. Imagine a server brings food to your table and asks if you want extra cheese on your food. Or perhaps someone requests to borrow your favorite stapler at work. Or maybe a partner asks if you\u2019re comfortable with them staying the night. Each of these scenarios has a request for permission to do something, and you are well within your rights to deny any of them.<\/p>\n

It seems pretty easy, but a lot of people struggle with these concepts. And there\u2019s a huge reason why.<\/p>\n

Have you ever been to a large family get-together? Thanksgiving dinner, a birthday, a trip? No matter the occasion, there\u2019s always the expected greetings for relatives or close family friends. Great-uncle Bob, who you\u2019ve met twice in your life, is probably expecting a hug due to your familial relationship. Even though you barely know him, there\u2019s a standard for what\u2019s expected from you, so even if you\u2019re not a big hugger, you\u2019ll most likely deal with the uncomfortable hug so you don\u2019t have to \u201ccause a scene.\u201d<\/p>\n

But why are we like this? Why are we so comfortable being uncomfortable? It likely boils down to how we were raised.<\/p>\n

How often have you observed a toddler or young kid who doesn\u2019t want to hug or kiss someone? They definitely don\u2019t have a problem stating what they\u2019re comfortable with. They\u2019ll push away and say \u201cNO!\u201d but the parents will usually force them to do it anyway. They\u2019ll say things like, \u201cHow could you hurt Mom\u2019s feelings like that?\u201d or, \u201cWe\u2019re family,\u201d and expect that to justify their clear overstepping of the kid’s boundaries. As kids, we\u2019re taught that there are simply things that we must do, or don\u2019t have a say in, and this transfers to adulthood. If your boundaries aren\u2019t respected as a child, then it’s unlikely you\u2019ll respect boundaries set by others as an adult.<\/p>\n

There is good news in this, though. Consent is something that can be learned and practiced. Just like any other skill, it might take a while to fully develop, but it’s definitely worth it. There are thousands of amazing examples online, but even a simple, \u201cHey, just confirming that you\u2019re okay with this\u201d can be so incredibly useful for pretty much any relationship\u2014romantic or otherwise.<\/p>\n

In a society burdened by ambiguity, consent is key to a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What does consent sound like to you? Like many others, you may know what consent means in theory but struggle to imagine a scenario where it’s used properly. So, what is consent? How is it used? And why do we, the people living in the 21st century, seem to be so bad at it? To […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20638,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21600"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21600\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21643,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21600\/revisions\/21643"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}