{"id":24816,"date":"2024-01-08T09:00:39","date_gmt":"2024-01-08T17:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=24816"},"modified":"2023-12-19T09:56:29","modified_gmt":"2023-12-19T17:56:29","slug":"not-the-last-word-coming-to-terms-with-being-child-free","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2024\/01\/08\/not-the-last-word-coming-to-terms-with-being-child-free\/","title":{"rendered":"Not the Last Word<\/em>: Coming to terms with being child-free"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m one of those students at Camosun who\u2019s often mistaken for a teacher. I\u2019m a \u201cmature student,\u201d someone who decided in their 30s to change their life and go back to school. It\u2019s one of the best decisions I ever made… One of them.<\/p>\n

I get asked all the time about why I don\u2019t have kids. I\u2019d never been against the idea, but I knew when I was younger that kids could never fit into my lifestyle. I had enough trouble taking care of myself; I couldn\u2019t even begin to consider taking care of a child. Children are innocent and powerless for a time; I never wanted to mess one up with what might be bad decisions. As I grew older, and learned more about the vast problems that exist in the world, the more I became okay with not leaving it for anyone else to inherit.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Not the Last Word<\/em> is a column appearing in every issue of Nexus<\/em> (photo by Emily Welch\/Nexus<\/em>).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Most of my friends from high school joined the mom club. I\u2019d see their posts on Instagram and Facebook showing pristine, white weddings, soon to be followed with pictures of gap-toothed, smiling children going through every stage of life. I\u2019d scan through the posts of these women I used to party with and gaze in wonder at their now seemingly perfect Hallmark lives and wonder why I didn\u2019t go down that road myself.<\/p>\n

Whenever I run into one of these friends they usually ask me if I\u2019m married yet; do I have children? And they always seem to say the same thing when I tell them \u201cno\u201d: \u201cOh, well, there\u2019s all sorts of options now, Emily. You can adopt, or get IVF. You\u2019ll be okay!\u201d I really live for telling them that I\u2019m already okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s inevitable when I explain to them that I am happy with the way things are\u2014that I\u2019m concentrating on building myself up with my work (which I love) and my schooling (which I love)\u2014that they\u2019ll stare at me as if I\u2019m probably kidding myself.<\/p>\n

However, when I say that I live a lovely, free life without complications like mortgages, a life where I can decide on a whim to take a trip or sleep until noon on a Saturday, that their eyes flicker with something like wistfulness, or understanding. Still, I know that I\u2019ll be a topic of discussion at some point, as the one whose priorities were not on par with theirs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not having children is something I\u2019ve become at peace with. I may too feel wistful when I see happy families playing in the park, but I have a very fulfilling life the way it is, full of possibilities and potential.<\/p>\n

So, anyone else out there who suffers the same dilemma: just know that you\u2019re not alone and that the world has plenty to offer on its own.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m one of those students at Camosun who\u2019s often mistaken for a teacher. I\u2019m a \u201cmature student,\u201d someone who decided in their 30s to change their life and go back to school. It\u2019s one of the best decisions I ever made… One of them. I get asked all the time about why I don\u2019t have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":24212,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,302],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24816","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-columns","category-january-8-2024"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24816","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24816"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24816\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24817,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24816\/revisions\/24817"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24816"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24816"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24816"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}