{"id":5514,"date":"2013-01-08T23:32:54","date_gmt":"2013-01-09T07:32:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=5514"},"modified":"2013-03-06T17:19:15","modified_gmt":"2013-03-07T01:19:15","slug":"nelly-furtado-stinks-up-the-joint","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2013\/01\/08\/nelly-furtado-stinks-up-the-joint\/","title":{"rendered":"Concert review: Nelly Furtado stinks up joint at Victoria’s Save-on-Foods Centre"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay. Deep breath.<\/p>\n

Canadian songbird Nelly Furtado’s performance at the Save-on-Foods Memorial Centre on January 8 was special. Very special. The kind of special that makes you want to kill yourself. Now-deceased tyrannical Lybian leader Moammar Gadhafi\u00a0got a full dose of Nelly when she and other pop stars like Usher and Mariah Carey played a Gadhafi-backed concert in 2011 (Furtado later donated the $1 million she received to the Free the Children campaign). I can only presume the complications from seeing Furtado live were insurmountable for him. (Sorry, that was mean.)<\/p>\n

Deep. Breath. Let’s try this again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Nelly Furtado was lacklustre, to say the absolute least (photo Jason Schreurs\/Nexus)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Nelly Furtado was so awkward on stage. She seemed at times lost, disappearing inexplicably mid-song to change her wardrobe or, more accurately, put on a mismatched coat or vest. Her stage banter was so stilted it felt like she was a robotic servant of pop-music doom come to take us away to her leader (that being the grim reaper, who made two appearances: once so Furtado could read from a bucket list thrown together by dum-dum crowd members, and a second time to hold a gigantic singalong cue card that simply read “la la la la la.” Both of these things happened<\/em>.).<\/p>\n

Breathe, Jason, breathe.<\/p>\n

Furtado’s DJ’s name is DJ Sean. Or maybe it’s DJ Shawn. I can neither disprove or confirm the spelling. But that’s a pretty sweet DJ name.<\/p>\n

Alright. Inhale. Deeply. One more go at this…<\/p>\n

Furtado’s hit songs sounded pretty decent, actually. Okay, not “Parking Lot,” my personal favourite Furtado jam, and the biggest reason I was in attendance. That one sounded putrid. But the other hits, like “I’m Like a Bird,” “Turn Off the Light,” and “Try” sounded sort of fine. She really does have a good voice when she’s not singing through one nostril. The rest of this show’s tunes though… let’s talk about the cover songs… a jam of Steve Miller Band’s “Fly Like an Eagle” (immediately following “I’m Like a Bird”) disintegrated after 45 seconds when Furtado vanished side stage to remove an item of clothing. Ahhhhhhh… psyche. Her encore cover of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” was both vapid and inappropriate, considering most of the super sparse audience consisted of middle-aged soccer moms and prepubescent girls.<\/p>\n

Last chance. One more deep breath.<\/p>\n

Nelly Furtado’s stage moves consisted of a bounty of gypsy hand gestures, some Axl Rose swaying, and a few power squats. She should really work on her choreography.<\/p>\n

Okay, let’s end this.<\/p>\n

I know she’s a hometown hero and all. I know she’s got a pretty good set of pipes and all. I know she’s written some decent songs over the years and all. But, really, Nelly Furtado was one of the worst concerts I’ve been to. And I really just want to forgot all about it.<\/p>\n

Immediately.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay. Deep breath. Canadian songbird Nelly Furtado’s performance at the Save-on-Foods Memorial Centre on January 8 was special. Very special. The kind of special that makes you want to kill yourself. Now-deceased tyrannical Lybian leader Moammar Gadhafi\u00a0got a full dose of Nelly when she and other pop stars like Usher and Mariah Carey played a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5515,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts","category-webexclusive"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5514","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5514"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5514\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5518,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5514\/revisions\/5518"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}