{"id":7758,"date":"2013-10-02T09:00:50","date_gmt":"2013-10-02T16:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=7758"},"modified":"2013-10-01T11:37:00","modified_gmt":"2013-10-01T18:37:00","slug":"astrological-asininity-october-2-2013-issue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2013\/10\/02\/astrological-asininity-october-2-2013-issue\/","title":{"rendered":"Astrological Asininity<\/em>: October 2, 2013 issue"},"content":{"rendered":"

We thought we\u2019d turn this part of the paper over to our resident astrological analyst to see what she has to say about what\u2019s in your future for the next couple weeks. Man, we\u2019re surprised at what she came up with. Ya\u2019ll are a shady bunch.<\/p>\n

Aries:<\/b> Turn around and walk back into the Fisher building. NOW.<\/p>\n

Taurus:<\/b> The leaf you stepped on this morning? That was a mistake.<\/p>\n

Gemini: <\/b>Your lucky number is 13, but that\u2019s not going to help you that much.<\/p>\n

Cancer:<\/b> Look, you might want to just go back to bed now.<\/p>\n

Leo:<\/b> Hey, things are going good for you! Keep up the good work. It has nothing to do with you being a Leo, unfortunately.<\/p>\n

Virgo:<\/b> Just stop.<\/p>\n

Libra:<\/b> Just start.<\/p>\n

Scorpio:<\/b> You think no one knows, but at least one person knows. But that doesn\u2019t mean it needs to end.<\/p>\n

Sagittarius:<\/b> Public speaking is one fear you\u2019re going to conquer soon. That other big fear? It\u2019s with you for a while yet.<\/p>\n

Capricorn: <\/b>Whatever the next fortune cookie you read says, I second that.<\/p>\n

Aquarius:<\/b> You\u2019re smarter than this. But you\u2019re doing it anyway.<\/p>\n

Pisces: <\/b>There were wires.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We thought we\u2019d turn this part of the paper over to our resident astrological analyst to see what she has to say about what\u2019s in your future for the next couple weeks. Man, we\u2019re surprised at what she came up with. Ya\u2019ll are a shady bunch. Aries: Turn around and walk back into the Fisher […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-october-2-2013"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t