{"id":8042,"date":"2013-10-30T08:50:25","date_gmt":"2013-10-30T15:50:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=8042"},"modified":"2013-10-29T12:00:33","modified_gmt":"2013-10-29T19:00:33","slug":"astrological-asininity-october-30-2013-issue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2013\/10\/30\/astrological-asininity-october-30-2013-issue\/","title":{"rendered":"Astrological Asininity<\/em>: October 30, 2013 issue"},"content":{"rendered":"

Aries: <\/b>There is some weird stuff coming up, I guess it\u2019s best if you don\u2019t know about it.<\/p>\n

Taurus:<\/b> Hi! Avoid the number 76 and spinach this week at all costs; bugs in the spinach, and that number is just the worst.<\/p>\n

Gemini:<\/b> LOL, my socks are falling off! The elastic just isn\u2019t holding! Oh, Gemini, you\u2019re all good.<\/p>\n

Cancer:<\/b> I\u2019m seeing you do a lot of stuff that\u2019s angering the stars, and Mars. So, stop it!<\/p>\n

Leo: <\/b>Okay so I was totally running over to the Nexus<\/i> office and I turned a corner and was face to face with a huge deer! It scared the poop out of me! THEN THE DEER TALKED TO ME. And it said \u201cIf you\u2019re a Leo, career choices are in your future.\u201d I totally said \u201cWTF, deer, you sound like a fortune cookie, and I\u2019m not Leo, I\u2019m totally Aquarius,\u201d then he just stared at me and I stared at him and he stared at me and I stared at him and he stared at me and I stared at him.<\/p>\n

Virgo:<\/b> Note that the deer didn\u2019t mention you, Virgo. Totally first thing I thought of when I was talking to the deer.<\/p>\n

Libra:<\/b> Hi! You know what I see in your future? Finally understanding the radiator that heats up your apartment. TOTALLY KIDDING.<\/p>\n

Scorpio: <\/b>I see some luck with a test, a fun time with an \u201cassociate\u201d (what, you in the mob? What the hell does that mean?) and… good times with fake fur? Um, um, can we hang out?<\/p>\n

Sagittarius: <\/b>You want in on that, too?<\/p>\n

Capricorn:<\/b> Avoid hula hoops.<\/p>\n

Aquarius:<\/b> Have I mentioned yet that I\u2019m an Aquarius? I don\u2019t think so! We should totally hang!<\/p>\n

Pisces:<\/b> You always bug me because you come right after me on the list of signs. Like, stop it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aries: There is some weird stuff coming up, I guess it\u2019s best if you don\u2019t know about it. Taurus: Hi! Avoid the number 76 and spinach this week at all costs; bugs in the spinach, and that number is just the worst. Gemini: LOL, my socks are falling off! The elastic just isn\u2019t holding! Oh, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,116],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-october-30-2013"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8042","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8042"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8044,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8042\/revisions\/8044"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}