{"id":8257,"date":"2013-11-27T08:50:36","date_gmt":"2013-11-27T16:50:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/?p=8257"},"modified":"2013-11-26T12:01:49","modified_gmt":"2013-11-26T20:01:49","slug":"astrological-asininity-november-27-2013-issue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/2013\/11\/27\/astrological-asininity-november-27-2013-issue\/","title":{"rendered":"Astrological Asininity<\/em>: November 27, 2013 issue"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi! So, totally someone thinks I\u2019m making fun of astrology. Totally I\u2019m not! Why WOULDN\u2019T the stars and planets be able to tell me what\u2019s in your future? Totally real. Totally go away if you don\u2019t believe me. I\u2019ve even got a crystal ball! It\u2019s got little lines of electricity that come up to my fingers when I touch it! Totally real.<\/p>\n

Aries: <\/b>Hi! LOL you\u2019re always first. So, you\u2019ll probably be first in line somewhere the next couple weeks.<\/p>\n

Taurus:<\/b> Uh-oh, umm, last time I said I meant 77 when I said 76 the time before last time but, um, totally meant 76 to begin with. Can we just go back in time and fix that? LOL, as if!<\/p>\n

Gemini: <\/b>I\u2019m eating chips and I think it\u2019s making things greasy. So, avoid chips! No, don\u2019t, they\u2019re the best!<\/p>\n

Cancer: <\/b>Hi! How\u2019s everything going? Look out for business meetings and try to get that love life ramped up a bit, k?<\/p>\n

Leo: <\/b>So, after last issue\u2019s column, I met a Leo named Lee! SO COOL! I figured if we combined our names we\u2019d be Riverlee. Say it loud, it\u2019s like Riverly, LOL. Hi, Lee!<\/p>\n

Virgo: <\/b>Lucky number is 13! Ummm… whoa. That\u2019s some freaky stuff right there!<\/p>\n

Libra: <\/b>Focus on the classes you think are easiest; they\u2019re not always. And, buy me a drink. LOL, didn\u2019t see that coming!<\/p>\n

Scorpio: <\/b>Holy cow, how many more of these are left?<\/p>\n

Sagittarius: <\/b>I get you mixed up with Scorpio because you both start with \u201cs\u201d and you\u2019re right next to each other. So, to you AND Scorpio, I say this: a mistake with homonyms will lead to a humorous, if not catastrophic, misunderstanding. Look out!<\/p>\n

Capricorn: <\/b>Mo! LOL… oh, wait, that\u2019s what I said last time. Doesn\u2019t make much sense here, does it? Capricorn! What\u2019s up?<\/p>\n

Aquarius: <\/b>You probably don\u2019t know this, but I\u2019m an Aquarius, too! NO KIDDING. Totally best sign. What\u2019s your sign? AQUARIUS, if you\u2019re me, LOL.<\/p>\n

Pisces: <\/b>So, um… did you get up on the downlow, like I predicted you would? Um… what did that end up meaning? Like, was it dirty, or was it just like \u201cthings are good, man,\u201d or what? Let me know! Bye, everyone! Especially you, Lee!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi! So, totally someone thinks I\u2019m making fun of astrology. Totally I\u2019m not! Why WOULDN\u2019T the stars and planets be able to tell me what\u2019s in your future? Totally real. Totally go away if you don\u2019t believe me. I\u2019ve even got a crystal ball! It\u2019s got little lines of electricity that come up to my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-november-27-203"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8257"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8258,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8257\/revisions\/8258"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}