Ummmm so my editor told me to \u201cbe more concise\u201d after last time. After I finished swearing at the jerk, I looked up that word in the dictionary [Anyone looking for a job as our new astrologist?\u2014ed<\/i>]. Then I looked up \u201cconcise,\u201d too, and \u201cbe\u201d while I was at it. And, okay, fine. I\u2019ll keep it to the point. Speaking of points, OMG on unicorns being real!<\/p>\n
Aries: <\/b>Hi! I think that if you\u2019re considering \u201csocial media guru\u201d as a career path, you should forget it; however, I see an astrologist! Oh, wait, that\u2019s me in a mirror! LOL.<\/p>\n
Taurus:<\/b> So, true story: I was walking down the road the\u2026 oh, wait; I need to keep this to the point. That\u2019s hard! Hmm, okay, rubbing my crystal ball, I see hard pencil tips in your future. Totally not sure why!<\/p>\n
Gemini: <\/b>Sometimes I wonder if the real meaning of truth can ever be spoken, or, if like a whisper in the wind, it would just disintegrate the second it came out of one\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n
Cancer: <\/b>LOL whoa on the Gemini thing there! I don\u2019t even remember writing that. I\u2019ve been having these moments lately. So, Cancer, can you figure out Gemini\u2019s future, and Gemini, figure out Cancer\u2019s, and you two get together and chat? Merci.<\/i><\/p>\n
Leo: <\/b>So, um, Lee the Leo, yeah, me and him, we\u2019re not really hanging out anymore. That\u2019s what happens when you\u2019re a total jackass, I guess! LOL, um, burn in Hell, Lee.<\/p>\n
Virgo: <\/b>Your lucky number is an unlikely 3,204; not sure when that will come in handy, but hold on to that.<\/p>\n
Libra: <\/b>LOL last time I typed \u201ctypede\u201d in your little spot here, Libra. That was so funny I am still laughing over it. OHMYGOD WATCH OUT FOR SCORPIONS!<\/p>\n
Scorpio: <\/b>So I warned you that January is going to be bad but February good. Still holds true. Except I got the months wrong: January good, February bad. Sorries!<\/p>\n
Sagittarius: <\/b>I always start to get tired out around here.<\/p>\n
Capricorn: <\/b>Please contact Gemini and Cancer and get in on their action.<\/p>\n
Aquarius: <\/b>I got your mental signal that you\u2019d like to hang out! I tried sending one back but your receptors appear to be down. Can you please put them up and we\u2019ll hang out! Also, focus on relationships, crosswalks, and corn on the cob! LOL that\u2019s something to do with Capricorn, I think.<\/p>\n
Pisces: <\/b>Did you buy jellybeans like I told you to? NOW YOU KNOW. It\u2019s really hard to type \u201cnow\u201d and \u201cknow\u201d so close together like that. Maybe in my stars I see a typing class! LOL just kidding, I don\u2019t really want to do that. Oh, Pisces, one more thing: you really, really, really need to be careful around that horse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ummmm so my editor told me to \u201cbe more concise\u201d after last time. After I finished swearing at the jerk, I looked up that word in the dictionary [Anyone looking for a job as our new astrologist?\u2014ed]. Then I looked up \u201cconcise,\u201d too, and \u201cbe\u201d while I was at it. And, okay, fine. I\u2019ll keep […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,120],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8508","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-january-22-2014"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8508","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8508"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8508\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8509,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8508\/revisions\/8509"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8508"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8508"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nexusnewspaper.com\/newsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8508"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}