Local, Live, and Loud: November 14th – 27th, 2012

Arts Magazine Issue November 14, 2012

Wednesday, November 14
Patrick Watson, Wake Owl
Alix Goolden Hall, $25, 7 pm

There used to be this owl that lived near my house. I’d hear him when I’d come home late at night, hooting from the darkness. I’m pretty sure he’d sneak up on me every once in a while. I never actually saw him, so I pictured him as this huge bird looming over me from the trees that line my driveway. It was that spooky hoot, so close to me, all around me, and yet nowhere near me, that would always make me jump.

Friday, November 16
Five Alarm Funk
Sugar Nightclub, $20, 9 pm

So, what’s the real truth behind sweating? Is it good for you? I mean, I’ve heard people say that it’s your body’s way of cleansing impurities, right? I don’t know if they’re just trying to make me feel better because I run hot all year long, or if they actually have some scientific evidence that proves that sweaty folks are healthier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I drench my shirts every day. Let’s just say that in the warmer months I don’t carry a sweatshirt. I blame it on the Yukon. Years spent living in a colder climate forced my body to compensate. Doesn’t really fly, does it?

Friday, November 16
Riley Smith Band, Man Made Lake, Echo Radio
The Cambie, $5, 9 pm

Has there ever been a beaver-type super hero? Someone who has the ability to chew through wood and possesses a dangerous, flat flapper of a tail that could smack the ground, causing disorientation in his enemies? That could really work. A true Canadian hero, Beaverman could have a day job as a contractor or hydro worker, building houses or man-made lakes in his downtime. Now we just need a really believable back-story. Maybe he gets bitten by a radioactive beaver. Or maybe he’s befriended by a family of beavers when lost on a family camping trip. I think we’ve got the makings of a classic.

Monday, November 19
The Wooden Sky, Wildlife
Club 90ne9, $16, 8 pm

Henny Penny would probably have serious panic attacks if there were a wooden sky. The sky would always have a chance of falling, or lighting on fire, or, hell, even just rotting and crumbling to earth. Stress levels would be through the roof, pun intended. The barnyard would have to start doing yoga or something just to keep some semblance of calm.

Thursday, November 22
The Pack A.D., We Hunt Buffalo
Club 90ne9, $16, 8 pm

I happened to turn on the National Geographic channel the other day with my three-year-old son. We started watching Frozen Planet. It’s sort of like that show Planet Earth, but with animals from the ice caps. It started with the birth of some baby seals, then showed one of them nearly getting killed during a battle between two males. We continued watching as the story turned to whales. An orca pod started hunting a minke whale and that’s when my wife, the voice of reason, changed the channel. I thought it was educational.

Friday, November 23
The Zolas, The Belle Game
Felicita’s at UVic, $8-$10, 9 pm

I used to love going to Felicita’s, probably because I had a couple roommates and close friends over the years that tended bar there. It’s a good vibe. There are lots of smart folks, or at least folks that are trying to learn, just hanging around and cutting loose. Oh, and there’s the beer aspect. There’s a lot of beer. Very reasonably priced for roommates, I might add.

Friday, November 23
Delhi 2 Dublin
Sugar Nightclub, $20, 8 pm

My sister-in-law is living in Ireland right now with her Irish boyfriend. He’s a bit of a metalhead. They went to France last summer for HellFest. Ever heard of it? Imagine the gnarliest lineup of international metal acts dropped on a quiet little burb on the western coast of France. They sent me a t-shirt from the festival that I probably shouldn’t wear to my next job interview. It’s got one of those really thick screenprints on the front. Those ones that make your chest sweat on a warm summer day. I’d love to visit France one day.

Saturday, November 24
Start with the Cobra, The Sweathogz, The New Krime
Logan’s Pub, $10, 9:30 pm

Does anybody remember that old sitcom, Welcome Back, Kotter? John Travolta played a cocky high school kid and Gabe Kaplan was the teacher. Kaplan’s a big-time poker player and announcer now. It’s so weird to me that poker is played on the major sports channels. What’s even weirder is that I’ll actually get sucked in and watch it sometimes.

Sunday, November 25
Xzibit
Club 90ne9, $25, 10 pm

Xzibit should totally do a Pimp My Club tour. Think about it. He’d have a whole new show to pitch to MTV that combines both Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Pimp My Ride. It could bring him back to the star status he experienced years ago while simultaneously rejuvenating grungy, rundown clubs that he visits on his rap tours. He could pump up local economies by using all local contractors and generally look like a hero with gold fronts. Or cornrows. I’ve never actually seen him with gold fronts.