In Search of Lost Time: Some lesbians have penises

Columns Magazine Issue November 14, 2012

As if there’s not enough hurt out there in the world for those of us whose identities depart from acceptable social norms, or are marginalized in the process of prejudices, there also exists oppression inside the communities we seek refuge and understanding in.

The term lesbian, to me, means a homosexual relationship between two women. I am a woman, and Cage, my fiance, is a woman, and we are in a loving relationship that both of us agree is, as defined by current social labels, lesbian in nature.

There are some who consider me to be a heterosexual transvestite, at least until I have undergone the extremely painful surgical procedures to invert my penis into a neo-vagina and vulva.

I am already a eunuch by medical definition, and soon I will submit myself to complete sexual reassignment surgery. In the meantime, while some embrace us, we are subject to those who would deny Cage and I entry into the lesbian collective.

I feel that sexual relationships don’t need to be categorized by genitals, but rather a complex set of identities marked by biology, self-identity, and attraction. It’s important to recognize and address oppression that happens within safer spaces.

I am a lesbian with a penis, for the moment, but still just as much a lesbian.