Learning to effectively break the ice when meeting new people is integral to productive networking. But in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to get stuck regurgitating the same dusty old questions that have become less meaningful over time.
Rather than remain chained to these stale habits of inquisition, let’s take a moment to consider some refreshing alternatives to three common icebreaker questions.
1. “What do you do?”
While this question might make a good title for a board book introducing toddlers to existentialism, the vague phrasing can sometimes leave adults scratching their heads about what is actually being asked of them. Since what you’re really trying to do here is tally up a person’s potential value to you, it’s much more prudent to bring their very essence into focus with something more along the lines of “What is your purpose in life?” or, even better, “Why are you alive and why should I care?”
2. “What do you do for work?”
Instead of attempting to humanize other people by asking them about their lives, it’s often more efficient and useful to reduce them to a business card or branded name tag in order to assess their societal value. And by “societal value,” I, of course, mean their ability to perform functions and generate money. To extract a more lucrative and concise response from your target, try asking, “What kind of machine are you and which company owns you?”
3. “What do you do in your spare time?”
When you encounter people who are either unemployed or unenthusiastic about describing their job, you’ll likely want to interrogate them about what sorts of frivolous activities they get up to in the absence of being productive. Unless they’re in school, working toward a degree that will guarantee a lifetime of prosperity as a name-tagged machine, this is also a golden opportunity to help wayward souls get back on track in the world. But rather than perpetuate the made-up concept of “spare time,” try to get straight to the heart of the matter by asking, “How do you waste your life when you aren’t doing the important things?”
Whether you’re at a party, in a bar, or on a blind date, these questions are sure to elicit a treasure trove of valuable responses that will help you screen the extras from the supporting characters in the epic sitcom that is your life.