When chatting to my biking friends, who are men, in the chairlift, we usually end up in a conversation with them complaining about equality, and how they feel that women pick out only the good stuff about equality. I’m always a bit shocked at this angle of looking at it.
What occurs most of the time is that the guys think that feminism is all about me carrying my own grocery bags or lifting my bike in the shuttle car without asking for help. If I want to be equal, I should just be responsible for my own stuff and not ask a man for help, because—it seems—this interferes with feminism.
But, in fact, this has nothing at all to do with feminism. Physically, our bodies are designed differently, generally speaking. For example, male bodies in general have more muscle mass than female bodies do. Also, they have different centres of gravity.
When women speak about equality, we do not mean we want to pick out the best and leave the rest. We simply want the same rights for everyone. As a woman, I’m absolutely capable of carrying my own groceries or lifting my bike. But I’m also not ashamed to ask for help if I need it. This has nothing to do with picking the parts I like and leaving the rest. But on some occasions I might just not be physically able to do what a man might be capable of.
Asking for help should be seen as a sign of trust rather than acknowledging weakness and, therefore, not being equal. What I also hear a lot is that women should be forced to join the Armed Forces if they want equality. Well, why can’t we instead say that everyone who wants to pursue a career in that field should be able to do it, and everyone who doesn’t shouldn’t be forced to do it? Wouldn’t that be fair?
Can’t feminism be a step toward each other rather than waiting on a misstep and claiming it as an argument proving that feminism doesn’t work?
I always believed that I had to be strong and do everything on my own, not asking for help from a man, even if I would meet my limits and almost break down from, for example, heavy lifting. I rolled my eyes at other women who said they couldn’t lift something, until I read an article that actually stated why some males are physically more capable of certain things than some females are. But this doesn’t mean that there aren’t some females who are physically more capable than some males. As with everything, there are plenty of different aspects to look at.
What I’m actually hoping for is that we start to acknowledge that we can be equal in so many ways, like, for example, our intellects and attitudes, and that we can pursue the same goals and refuse the same things. But if we ask for help, it shouldn’t matter if we’re women. The only thing that should matter is that we can meet each other on par, respect certain differences, and, in the end, help each other.