Fellas, Let’s Figure It Out: Shaping your circle of friends

Columns February 7, 2024

While doing some research for this column, I stumbled upon a mind-boggling statistic: 80 percent of people will have failed or completely abandoned their New Year’s resolutions by February 1.

My hope is that those of you who read my column several weeks ago on New Year’s resolutions fall into the minority of people who have stuck with their goals. 

In this column, I will be explaining how the circle of people you spend your time with impacts your behaviour and how to revise your circle for improved results in all areas of life. 

Fellas, Let’s Figure It Out is a column appearing in every issue of Nexus (photo provided).

Most people will have heard some variation of the quote “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” While this is a bit of an over-generalization, it rings true, at least for myself.

Your environment really does shape your actions and a large part of that environment is the people you surround yourself with.

The good news is a lot of your environment is malleable, meaning you can change it. Sure, you can’t cut out the negative family member from your life completely, but you can limit the energy you give to people who drag you further away from your goals. 

An easy way to do this is to consider what you want in 2024. Are you trying to quit smoking? Maybe you want to improve your fitness? Surrounding yourself with people who smoke like chimneys is probably not sustainable if you want to quit.

Instead, try to spend time with people who prioritize fitness, education, business, or whatever it is you’re trying to improve on. 

In my professional and academic lives, I try to ensure that I’m never the smartest person in the room. Surrounding yourself with people who force you to level up is an absolute life hack. 

As an exercise, write down all of the people you spend the most time with, those who help to bring you closer to your goals, and those who take you further away from them. 

When auditing your circle, try to remove emotion and really consider what impact your relationship with an individual is having on both of your lives. 

You can love someone and want to spend time with them while recognizing that they might not be bringing you closer to your goals. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. 

Your circle shapes you. Choose wisely.