Columns

I was told in a History class—I’m actually probably told this every year—that the reason we study history is so we can learn from example and avoid making the same mistakes that the people who came before us did. And I just kind of assumed we had our best people on that, making sure we […]

As a student of psychology, I sometimes feel besieged with the message that science is the superior way of understanding. The scientific method is empirical, rational, as objective and unbiased as possible, and self-correcting. Often enough I find myself annoyed by the tedium and monotony required by such a method. It’s a lot of work, […]

Well, I guess we’re attending college from home now. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been struggling to keep my productivity up. None of my classes have scheduled meeting times, which sounds great, except that it puts a lot more responsibility on me to not fall behind. Of course, grades and deadlines help keep […]

Early on in addiction recovery, remaining sober from a primary addiction—be it alcohol, gambling, pornography, or unhealthy relationships—is a grind. It is painful and difficult and often the effort is abandoned one or more times. I’ve heard it said that relapse is part of recovery, and, therefore, should be expected. This initial withdrawal cannot be […]

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about beginnings, endings, and everything in between. I’ve realized over time that getting from point A to point B is never a smooth, straight line; instead, it’s curvy and jagged, and I can never find that darn ruler when I need it. Twenty years ago, I married the person […]

It’s fascinating that our entire human existence is spent inside our minds. Yes, we use our bodies to interact with the world and other people, but there is a buffer zone between our brains and the world. That buffer zone is what we call “the senses.” Thanks to vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, it […]

Like many sex and love addicts, I also fall under the category of “codependent.” I think this term is fairly common today, but still there is significant misunderstanding and lack of knowledge around codependency. It is not a healthy way of depending on others, like interdependence, where both or all people are whole and complete […]

Just when I thought I could relax a little and enjoy the summer with my kids, I find myself being accosted at the stores with back-to-school advertising and supplies. I attempt to shield my eyes from the glare, feel my way to the s’mores-making aisle, and pretend that I didn’t just see the animated pencil […]

My mom has told me that she does not like labels. Before I even went to my first Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) meeting, I made an announcement to my mom, step-dad, and brother, who I was living with at the time following a relationship with a violent, abusive, manipulative nightmare of a man. […]

With classes—for ourselves and for our children—at an end, the BC government moving into phase three of its restart plan, and summer upon us, I notice the tension in the air melt away like the sea-salt caramel ice cream cone dripping in my hand. While we now have the freedom to travel within British Columbia, […]